I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
