I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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