what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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