Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
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