They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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