Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
