Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
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