I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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