I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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