is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
