Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
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