you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
