brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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