scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
