he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
and she was petting her beer can
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
