you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
