Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
