I want to stick my p in your. b.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
