You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
My life is pants optional.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
