That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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