we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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