This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize