READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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