Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize