I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Randomize