If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
