well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I want a musical about memes.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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