Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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