Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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