so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
They took my balls.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
