so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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