she was so not down for the gang bang
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize