my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
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