NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
A bitchslap is in order.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
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