I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
