i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
foreskin is a definite game changer
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Randomize
