no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
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