I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
