Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
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