wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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