We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
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