she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
