I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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