Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
