I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
