dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
