dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Randomize
