We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
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