Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
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