the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize