So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
