i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Randomize
