So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
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