I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize