There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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