Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
