I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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