then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
