you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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