My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Found your dick twin last night
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize
