super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize