hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
