Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
