I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
