I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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