its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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